Wishing for health, happiness, and success in the New Year is common practice. But attaining these goals is different for everyone, and it might take an unexpected path to get there.
The holidays can be particularly hard for couples going through the divorce process in New York. So in order to help individuals and families going through divorce at this time, we released our third annual list of top resolutions to bring prosperity into the New Year.
#1. Complete a divorce this year.
So many spouses extend the process leading up to divorce by hoping for an impossible reconciliation or avoiding the subject. Divorce can be a difficult process, but extending the buildup can cause even more damage to you and your spouse, and your children. Open communication about a desire for divorce will make the process easier for both spouses. And at the other end, evading a spouse’s calls for divorce will only drag it out and cause more antipathy. Complete your divorce paperwork, find an experienced divorce attorney, and start the New Year with a fresh stage in your life.
#2 Update wills and estate plans.
We touched on maintaining financial health in our 2016 resolutions for a healthy marriage, and the same goes for couples who are recently divorced. Divorce is a big change in your life, and you not only have to update your current finances, but also address your end-of-life financial wishes. Now is the time to make a new will, update beneficiary designations, and review your powers of attorney for medical and financial needs. You may need to work with your divorce attorney or a financial planner if your divorce agreement calls for an ex-spouse to remain a beneficiary on certain plans like pensions.
#3 Now is the time to be a great co-parent.
Custody and visitation can be the hardest things to adjust to after a divorce, but leaving emotional issues at the door is key to establishing a new, healthy standard of living for your children. If an ex-spouse makes reasonable requests to temporarily change a visitation schedule, do it. Don’t bring emotional baggage into time spent with children. And make it a point to have both parents present during major life events like graduations and weddings when possible. These milestone events are not about parents’ past issues; they are about celebration.
#4 Leave emotions at the door before starting the divorce process.
This is a hard one. But the court is not a therapist’s office and your divorce lawyer is not a trained doctor, so trying to reconcile emotional issues in court will be both harmful and expensive. It’s imperative to remember that the divorce process is about settling the separation of assets and debts. Going through tough emotions are just as important, so make time to settle personal issues with a therapist or close confidant.
Our final resolution is a long-term resolution, and we know not all divorced couples will be able to meet this goal in one year. That’s ok. An important thing for divorced couples to understand is that forgiveness is as much about the person who gives it as the person who receives it. Holding onto grudges hurts you as much as it does your ex-spouse, so this is a therapeutic step. And forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting past wrongs. It simply means remembering it, forgiving it, and moving on. And what better time to start this process than the New Year?
If you are looking for an experienced divorce attorney in Queens, Contact the Law Offices of Bruce Feinstein, Esq. today for a Free Consultation.